


Something

by Briallen



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: And only them, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolarity, Care, Comfort, Depressive Episode, Eliott is in love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lucas has a big heart for lost kittens and Eliott, Lucas is... eventually too i guess, M/M, Roommates to lovers, and they were ROOMMATES, oh my god they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23202082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briallen/pseuds/Briallen
Summary: "There´s something between us, don´t you think?"
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 4
Kudos: 138





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Did I just write another one shot elu story even when I have to work on the magic elu fic chapter 4?  
> Indeed i did.  
> I just had in my head few scenes (literally one - 1) which I didn´t put to the Next Door epilogue because i forgot. So. 
> 
> But... les gars... they were rOoMmAtEsSsSsSSSSSsss!!!

...

Eliott doesn´t know how to act around him anymore. It´s so wierd. They´re roommates for two years now and Eliott is in love with him for more than half of the time. 

  
It´s strange, because Eliott remembers the moment when it happend - him falling for his roommate - like it was only yesterday (it wasn´t). 

  
**It happened like this:**

He was in his room, reading one of the Dickens novels (wierd, Eliott doesn´t remember which one exactly but he´s like 80% sure it was Christmas Carol), when he heard the shuffling in their living room.   
He stood up and listened for a while behind his closed door. 

Lucas came home, talking to someone while probably taking off his coat. Eliott imagined how Lucas´ hair got all spikey and messy when he took off his burgundy scarf. Or, was it the grey one? However, Eliott noticed that Lucas was wearing the burgundy one more often lately, almost all the time actually, since the one morning when Eliott complimented him it. 

But it didn´t have to mean anthing, right? 

Anyways, Eliott was listening and he realized that there´s noone else, that it´s just Lucas talking to someone on his phone. His voice sounded angry. 

Eliott didn´t know what to do. Should he go outside and find out what´s going on? Would it be to rude to do that, if that phonecall was too personal for Lucas? 

He didn´t know, so, he just stood there for another minute or two and when there was just silence again, he opened his door and walked to the living room. 

Noone was there, Lucas´ shoes and coat and scarf (the grey one) around the floor. Door to his room opened. Eliott walked over there slowly, hesitantly, and he saw Lucas lying on the bed on his back, legs hanging from the mattress, arms threw to the sides, eyes closed. 

"Lucas?" Eliott says. Lucas hums. "Everything alright?" 

By that time, they were roommates for almost whole year. They were hanging out together in their flat sometimes, like, saturday movie nights or lazy sundays, sure. But both of them had also their own group of friends, with which they were hanging separatedly.   
Let´s say they were friends. Not the best, but friends. Good friends. Roommates.

Lucas sighed. Then he got up from bed. "I forgot to take this," he took a black file from his table, "to school, so now I have to go back there again and bring that, and Yann is pissed because I´ll come late for the game night, which is not even a game night, because boys invited girls," Lucas said the word _girls_ like it would be curse and Eliott held back his smile. "And girls invited other people, so it´s gonna be basically another party, and I´m really not in a mood." 

Eliott didn´t know what to say to that. Lucas walked around him to the hall, slipping to his shoes and coat again, put the black file on the floor. 

"Will you... go there?" Eliott asked then. 

"I don´t wanna go there at all, I´m really not in the fucking mood," said Lucas. "I´ll bring that essay to school and come back home."

"We can watch something, if you want?" said Eliott. "I can order pizza?" he left space for Lucas to decline his offer. 

But Lucas looked at him and smiled. "That would be nice," he said and took his burgundy scarf from the shelf, the grey one left on the floor, forgotten. "I´ll be back in a few," he said as he opened the door. 

"Lucas," Eliott said, took the black file from the ground and handed it to Lucas. 

"Oh god... thanks, Eliott," he said and left. 

Eliott didn´t realize he was smiling, as he picked up the grey scarf from the floor and hanged it, as he was ordering the pizza and setting up the movie. But he was. Indeed he was. Smiling like the sun itself.   
He was sitting on the couch and waiting for Lucas, when the door shutted loudly behind Lucas, as he came back. 

"Eliott, come here," Lucas called out from the hall and Eliott did. 

"What?" he asked as he saw Lucas, kneeling on the ground with his burgundy scarf muffled in his hands. 

"Eliott," Lucas said and unwrapped the scarf and the quiet _meow_ echoes their hall. "I found her on the streets, freezing to death, I couldn´t leave her there, I just couldn´t." 

There, in Lucas´ burgundy scarf, was tiny ginger kitten, shaking and meowing ruefully. 

"She was there all alone, Eliott, freezing, can we keep her? Please? You´re not allergic, are you? Please, tell me you´re not allergic, I don´t want to have to choose between this kitty and you."

And that was _it_. Eliott fell in love with him in that moment. He fell for him, for his roommie, for his big blue eyes, for his cool facade which he was showing to others, and big warm heart full of love for lost kittens hidden underneath.

And Eliott could tell anything. Literally anything. There was thousand things he could have done, hundred words he could have said after falling in love, but the first thing he said was "Lucas, I´m bipolar."   
He didn´t fucking know how so, why the first thing he said after he fell in love was _this_. It could be anything, but THIS?? _What is wrong with him._

Maybe you can ask how so Lucas didn´t know by now, when they lived together for almost a year. But, you know, this was really good year for Eliott. He was steady, calm, his episodes were mild and under controll. It was surprisingly pretty good year for Eliott. Two years ago? Not so much. When he was 17 and then 18, it were the worst years for him. But then he found this flat, then he found his roommate, and he was _alright_.   
He was introverted child, then introverted teenager, and now he was introverted adult, in his twenties. So Lucas didn´t notice if he spent four days in a raw locked in his bedroom. 

And now it was out. It was there, hanging in the air. 

And Lucas, Lucas just looked at him for a few seconds and then he said: "Tell me if you ever need anything I can help with, okay?" and smiled. And then the kitten in his palms meowed.

And Eliott felt so light, so light and calm. And in fucking love. 

So yes, they were watching movie, eating pizza, their new kitty sleeping between them, wrapped in Lucas´ burgundy scarf, and Eliott was calm. And Lucas was, at least from what Eliott could tell, a little happier. 

And Eliott was in love with him since then. Never said a word.

  
...

  
That sadly wasn´t all. 

It was more than one year since Eliott fell in love with him. 

It was one week since _that_ happened. They didn´t talk about that, but according to Eliott they definitely should. Not alike Lucas, who was apparantely avoiding him since then. 

It happened that Lucas came home from one hang-out with his friends slightly tipsy. 

Eliott was up that friday night, week ago, he was up, sitting on the couch, Dante (their cat) sleeping on his lap, cup with a hot tea on the coffee table and some documentary movie playing in the tv, Eliott didn´t know, he didn´t really pay any attention to that. 

Lucas came home and collapsed on the couch next to him with a huff. 

"Oh god," he sighed. "What a long day... I´m exhausted."

"Did you have fun?" Eliott asked, running his fingers through Dante´s furr. 

"Not as much as you, I see," Lucas said not at all as a joke, he said that like he meant that, and caressed Dante´s head. And, their fingers met and touched on the cat´s furr and Eliott´s eyes snapped to Lucas´ and he was looking at Eliott with tired pretty eyes and Eliott couldn´t stand that. He´s way too cute, way too pretty. 

"I´ll bring you some water," Eliott said and stood up, put Dante on the couch and went to kitchen. He took few deep breaths. Fuck, how so he was freaking out only from the little touch of their stupid fingers? How he want to handle kissing Lucas and keep his mind sane?   
_Oh-kayyy_ , who was talking about kissing Lucas?   
Yeah, well, Eliott was. He wanted to kiss him, of course. He wanted to kiss him for more than a year. He´s in love with him. He´s in fucking love with him. He wanted to kiss him. Maybe. Definitely. Perhaps. Absolutely. Totally. _Desperately_. 

Eliott took the glass of water and some aspirin and went back to the living room, sitting little more away from Lucas than before. 

"Here," he handed the water and pill to Lucas. 

"Thank you, Eliott," said Lucas as he took it. "You´re so nice." Eliott was watching him as Lucas closed his eyes and leaned further into the couch, and then he looked back to the tv screen, when he saw Lucas blinked. 

Then, Eliott felt this warm weight on his shoulder. It was Lucas, resting his head there. 

"Hmmm.." he humed. "Comfy." 

Eliott looked at him and Lucas was looking back and they were so close, so so _close_ , that their lips brushed against each other. It was just little kiss, well, barely kiss, just a light touch of their lips, but it was there, and then Lucas fell asleep. 

  
Eliott thought they´re gonna talk about it the next morning. But he apparantely thought _wrong_ , because Lucas woke up, locked himself in the bathroom for like 45 minutes and when he walked out, he said: "I have study session with Imane, I have to go," and he left.   
Since then, he was avoiding Eliott. He came home late that day and went straight to his bedroom. On sunday he was gone before Eliott woke up.   
Then there was monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday and they both were busy with school school school. 

Eliott was _trying_ to talk to him, but he couldn´t reach him. He was trying, he was. Like, on wendesday. 

"Lucas," he said. "Do you have a minute? Can we talk?"   
"Sorry, Eliott," said Lucas, not meeting his eyes. "I have meeting with my bio study group, I can´t right now."   
"Lucas," Eliott said, "Wait, please-"  
"I really can´t, Imane´s gonna kill me if I´ll be late again, sorry," and with that he was gone.

So, yeah. Now it´s friday night, a week since that kiss-not-kiss happened and Eliott is sitting in the middle of his bed, legs under the duvet, back leaning to the wall behind him. Book in his hands which he forgot to read.   
And he´s overthinking. 

He can´t force Lucas to talk when he obviously doesn´t want to. And yeah, it´s been a week and Eliott starts to realizing what that means. 

Lucas doesn´t want him like that. Lucas doesn´t like him like that. He was tipsy and he probably wants to forget all that. It was an accident because of their proximity. They don´t have to talk, Eliott can be normal, right? Yeah, he can do that, he can act all normal. He can find himself some hobby or maybe a job to keep himself busy in his free time and he can coming home only for sleep. They don´t have to talk, they don´t have to hang out together on their saturdays and sundays, okay, it´s totally _okay_. 

What if Lucas wants to move out from their flat now? What if he´s already looking for a new place to stay in? What if he hates this situation and wants to escape? 

"Okay so he doesn´t like me like that, it´s not a big deal, right?" Eliott asks out loud and looking at Dante, waiting for some agreement from her, but Dante just sighs in her sleep from her place on Eliott´s chair and that´s all. 

Eliott sighs. He needs to get some sleep, it´s definitely over midnight by now. The book in his hands feels heavy and he can´t even remember which book it is. 

And just as he thinks about reaching to switch off the lamp on his night stand, the door of his room cracks open and there´s Lucas. 

  
There´s Lucas, looking all wrinkled in his pajama pants and grey t-shirt. And adorable. Like always. 

"I can´t sleep," he says. Why it sounds like a lie to Eliott´s ears? 

However, he says "Neither can I."

Lucas comes closer, sits on the edge of Eliott´s bed. He looks half-asleep, actually, like he would forcing himself to stay awake. He´s blinking and his eyelids looks heavy. That´s why it sounded like a lie to Eliott. He looks like he´s perfectly able to fall asleep in the next two seconds. 

"Eliott..." Lucas says, then he takes the book from Eliott´s hands and put it on the night stand. Then, and _fuck_ , slowly, so slowly (maybe because he´s tired and sleepy, or maybe because he´s keeping the space for Eliott to stop him - not that he would, like, _ever_ ) moves and sits on Eliott´s lap, knees on the sides of Eliott´s thighs.

"L-Lucas, what-"

"Eliott..." Lucas sighs and put his hands on Eliott´s shoulders, then he rests his forehead to Eliott´s with an exhale. 

Eliott can´t breathe. He can´t fucking _breathe_. He´s not sure he´s able to, so he doesn´t. He doesn´t breathe. Lucas is so close and Eliott doesn´t know what to do with his own hands.  
  
"I´m sorry, Eliott, I didn´t mean to be so distant lately," Lucas says, slipping his hands from Eliott´s shoulders to the back of his neck, caressing his hair there. "I just didn´t know what to do."

"It´s okay," says Eliott breathlessly.

"No it´s not, I didn´t want you to feel bad because of me, I never want that, ever," Lucas says and Eliott´s hands slowly carefuly touch his legs from the sides.   
It´s unbelievable feeling. Lucas´ hand in his hair and his other arm now around Eliott´s shoulders, hugging him, like they would be-

Okay, okay, Eliott needs some distraction. He need some _distraction_ or it will be really embarrassing for him, very soon, because the weight of Lucas´ body on his lap is really-

 _Talk_. He need to talk. Lucas was saying something, right? Eliott need to answer. 

"I didn´t... I don´t," he says eventually as he remembers Lucas´ words, but he did. He _did_ feel bad. Now, on the other hand...

"It´s because, I didn´t know what to think and I guess I needed some time to figure it out," Lucas says and moves a little closer on Eliott´s lap, so close that he´s almost right _there_ -

"What are you talking about? What figured out?" Eliott says, trying to focus on his breathing, because he´s not sure how long he´s gonna stand this. 

"Us," says Lucas, hugs Eliott around his neck with both hands, brushes Eliott´s nose with his own. 

"Oh.."   
How so that one word sounds so good and nice from Lucas´ lips? _Us_. Two letters. He said that like it was a promise. 

"Don´t you think?" Lucas says now, pulls his face away, just a little, just an inch or two to look at Eliott. 

"What?" Eliott asks because Lucas´ eyes are just so pretty and blue and close and he´s gonna lose his damn mind very very soon, he´s sure about it. 

"That there´s something?"

"Where?"

"Between us."

"...."

"I think that is. Something. Between us," Lucas´ searching in Eliott´s eyes, but Eliott feels dizzy, because Lucas smells so nice, and he´s sitting on Eliott´s fucking lap. Eliott didn´t even realize but he´s gripping Lucas´ hips in his hands now. Tightly. 

"Yeah..." Eliott breathes out. 

"So you think so, too?" Lucas touches Eliott´s nose with his own again and Eliott closes his eyes.

"Yes."

"Eliott," Lucas whispers. 

"Just kiss me already," says Eliott and Lucas does. He _does_. And he does. Kiss him, that is.

  
It´s just a press of soft lips to Eliott´s for a few seconds. Then some more. And more.   
It´s Lucas, hugging Eliott around his neck, then his hands travel to his back to his neck to his hair and back down again and back up again, again and again. It´s Lucas, moving closer so he´s just right _there_ , pressing their chests together. It´s Eliott, his hands cupping Lucas´ face and tilting his head to kiss him deeper. It´s Eliott´s fingers brushing the soft soft skin on Lucas´ cheeks, his jaw and his neck. It´s Lucas, lifting himself up and falling back down again, maybe without realization, but then it really _is_ embarrassing for Eliott. And for Lucas, too. For them both.   
So maybe, it´s not embarrassing at all, eventually. Maybe it´s just two boys who fall together, no words needed, not anymore. 

It´s hot breaths, fast, dissapearing in the non-existent space between their lips. Because their lips never separated since the second touch. It´s impossible.   
Breathing? Never heard of her.

It´s Lucas´ legs around Eliott´s waist. It´s Lucas and Eliott falling to mattress tangled together, kissing like mad men, kissing like there´s no tomorrow. Kissing like they should be doing that long time ago. Touching, like little worships. It´s Lucas mumbling Eliott´s name to the hot skin on Eliott´s neck, and it´s Eliott whispering _Lucas Lucas Lucas_ , over and over again, like he can´t believe it´s truly happening.

It´s their sore burning lips from all that desperate kissing, afterwards. 

It´s Lucas and Eliott, Eliott and Lucas, falling asleep like that, because it´s friday, it´s in the middle of the night, it´s the end of another school week and they are exhausted. It´s Lucas, who was forcing himself not to sleep, violently keeping himself awake and taking courage to go to Eliott´s room and finally talk. It´s Eliott, who was overthinking eventually really simple situation over and over again and that was keeping him awake. 

  
...

  
On the saturday morning, little sweet pecks slowly waking Eliott up. There are lips, pressing kisses all over his face, there´s hand, warm, gentle, cupping his cheek. There´s voice. Soft. Whispering _wake up_ to his ear. 

Eliott´s smile creeping his way to his lips before he opens his eyes. 

"No, let me sleep," Eliott groans just because. 

"No, wake up," Lucas says, poking to his cheek, Eliott frowns. 

"Why?" 

"Wake up, I want to kiss you."

And, seriously, Eliott can´t fight such a strong argument, right? 

He opens his eyes to see Lucas´ face hovering above his with a little smile on his lips, which widens in a second. Eliott blinks few times to clear his morning vision and Lucas caresses his cheek again with such a tender touch that Eliott shivers, brings his hand to Lucas´ hair what fallen to his face and brushes them away.   
Lucas leans down and kisses his cheek and chin and nose and forehead and then the corner of Eliott´s lips. Eliott giggles and Lucas too and then they kiss, on the lips, and kiss again and again. 

And when they lay on their sides to facing each other, noses brushing together, soft touches of fingertips on their cheeks, Eliott whispers

"Don´t you think?" 

"What?" Lucas whispers back.

"That there´s something?"

"Where?"

"Between us.

"Yes... definitely _something_."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We won´t be scared about it, okay? We´re gonna deal with it once it´ll come. Now, we try to focus only on the next minute, okay?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it´s gonna be one shot, ups, sorry. 
> 
> LUCAS´ POV
> 
> TW: talking about bipolar disorder; depressive episode

.

It´s been whole three weeks of Eliott and Lucas, Lucas and Eliott, just them being together. Three weeks since that friday night, since the first time Lucas decided to be brave for Eliott, go to him and told him _"hey, there´s something between us, don´t you think?"_ and it worked.   
Because it was, it IS, something between them. 

Something very beautiful. 

  
Three weeks are long time. So much stuff can happen, and it did, it happened. 

It happened that the second time that morning after, Lucas woke up with his legs around Eliott´s body and fingers tangled in his golden-like hair, because Eliott´s head was right there, resting on Lucas´ chest, strong arms hugging Lucas tightly around his waist.   
It happened, that Lucas was staring at the soft boy in the bed and remembering the night they had behind he was blushing. A little. _A lot_. And he was smug. It´s not that Lucas is shy or something. He´s not. Eliott is, of course, Eliott is the softest person Lucas ever met, that´s for sure.   
Lucas wasn´t shy. His friends calling him "little shit", especially Yann. But fondly, of course, always so fondly.   
Eliott? Eliott was like... Lucas felt like Eliott was in totally different world, than his friends were. Could say... parallel world, just for him and Eliott. Their private bubble. And honestly, Lucas was happy to have it that way.   
It´s not that he wouldn´t want to show Eliott to his friends, okay? It´s just that... he doesn´t want to show Eliott to his friends. He´s too selfish. He wants him only for himself. He hates the imagine to _share_ Eliott´s attention, when he can have it all only for himself, when they´re alone. To be alone with him.   
It happened that Eliott woke up later, blinking his pretty pretty eyes open and awake and then he looks up at Lucas, who was already watching him fondly and with such love (nope, Lucas is not embarrassed, because it´s Eliott, the softest loveliest boy alive), and he said: "Oh, I thought... I thought I dreamed you," and he was looking so vulnerable, that Lucas just brought him up and embraced him into tight hug, caressing his back and shoulders, whispering: "Why would you think so?" and Eliott said: "I don´t know, I thought that all of that was a dream. I thought I couldn´t be so lucky," and Lucas pulled away to look him into his eyes, still a little sleepy, but no less pretty, pressed their foreheads together and said: "I´m the lucky one," and kissed Eliott´s forehead, his cheeks and the tip of his nose, until Eliott giggled and everything was okay again.   
It happened that they were talking (and kissing) and they were talking about their favourite things. Lucas told Eliott about his favourite bench in the park with a pretty view on the lake, Eliott told Lucas about his secret hiding place, under the bridge in the woods.   
It happened their cat Dante crawled up Eliott´s bed and even when it was small even for the two of them, she managed to lay between them for the group cuddles.  
It happened, they were lying in the bed until Lucas´ stomach growled and right after Eliott´s, it happened they were laughing all their way to kitchen, they ate some breakfast together (with Dante too, of course) and they went to shower together (this time without her, because Dante was scared of their bathroom).   
It happened that Lucas fell in love with shy soft Eliott.   
It happened that Lucas was all whipped about this boy.  
It happened that Lucas couldn´t care less. 

...

  
Three weeks. Three weeks they were together. Three weeks of Lucas saying stuff like: "Good morning boyfriend," or "Good night baby," and three weeks of Eliott blushing every damn time with the cutest smile on his lips, hiding into Lucas´ skin. 

  
Three weeks, and Eliott woke up one day feeling a little down. He didn´t tell Lucas, but Lucas noticed. He was watching his face and got terrified when he noticed that the light in Eliott´s eyes dissapeared. 

"What´s wrong, baby?" Lucas asked softly and hella carefully that morning, they were sitting in kitchen, breakfast on plates in front of them, but Eliott didn´t eat. He was sitting there, looking like he was up all night (and he wasn´t, Lucas knew because he was watching him half the night, watching his pretty sleeping face, tracing his features with his fingers in awe). 

"Nothing," Eliott said. But it wasn´t _nothing_. It was definitely _something_. Something was _wrong_. And Lucas was afraid to push on him, to asking more and more. Didn´t know why, honestly. Maybe because Eliott looked so sad. Maybe because he was afraid what he could hear. What Eliott could say. Maybe because Eliott looked so fragile, like he´d break apart with one wrong word.  
And yeah, of course Lucas was thinking about Eliott´s bipolarity, and yes he hated himself for that, this being almost the first thing on his mind, together with _oh god, he wants to break up, I fucked up again without even noticing._  
But this wasn´t about him (he hoped so).

Eliott was sad. He was... he was feeling down. Lucas could tell as much, because Eliott didn´t talk to him. Lucas asked: "Do you want to go to school together?" and Eliott said: "My school starting later than yours, don´t be late," and went back to his bedroom, closed the door behind. 

Lucas went to school, lost in thoughts, worried about what is up with Eliott. 

"Hey, what´s wrong with you, man?" asked Arthur at lunch.   
"With me? Nothing," Lucas said.   
"Oh come on, dude, something is obviously bothering you," said Yann, because he knew him so well. "Tell us, we´re friends, aren´t we?"   
"Yeah, tell us, Lulu, maybe we can help," said Basile and okay, okay, maybe if Lucas tell them, he´d feel a little lighter.   
"Eliott makes me worried," Lucas said eventually.  
"Eliott?" Yann said and frowned. "Eliott, your roommate?"   
"Eliott, my boyfriend," Lucas said.   
"What?!" Basile shrieked. "You two dating?"   
"What the fuck, man?" Yann asked.   
"Since when?" Arthur said, confused.   
"Three weeks," said Lucas. "And don´t ask why I didn´t tell you sooner. I wanted it to be just ours for some time. But now, I´m worried."  
"Why are you worried?" Yann said and bless him for not asking stupid questions.   
"Because he´s... I don´t know, he looked... not himself, this morning. He barely talk to me, didn´t eat and he was looking so sad, I don´t know," Lucas sighed. He thought he´ll feel better by saying that but he was actually more concerned now. Like he just realized all of that.   
"Did he say what´s bothering him?" asked Arthur.   
"No, I said he didn´t talk to me," Lucas said. "I should go back home to see if he´s there to check-"  
"No, what the fuck?!" Basile interrupted him. "You´re together for like..three weeks you said?" Lucas nodded. "And you´re ready to controlling him like that?"   
"It´s not fucking controlling, it´s worry about my-"  
"It´s babysitting," said Basile.   
"Well," Lucas shrugged. "He _is_ my baby, so-"   
"That´s not the fucking point. The point is, you´re together for three weeks. Do you really think you will be always all sun and shit? No, because you both are humans. Human beings, Lucas, so he has all rights to be moody or sad or happy or angry, and you too."   
"Wow, I would never think I say this but.. Basile has a point," Yann said.   
"Yes, he has," Arthur said. "Eliott´s maybe going through something and I´m sure he´ll tell you, soon, or later, once it´ll be over or once he´ll be ready, so don´t panic Lulu, okay?"   
"Just chill, man, keep calm," Yann said.

So, Lucas did. Keep calm. 

Until he came home that afternoon. Because he found Eliott in his bed in the same clothes as he was wearing this morning, sleeping under the mountain of blankets.   
Lucas got worried even more. Eliott might be sick?   
Lucas went to their kitchen and made him some tea, Eliott´s favourite herbal tea into his favourite mug with little raccoons doing yoga (it´s riddiculous mug and Eliott loves it, somehow). 

"Hey," Lucas said softly once he brought the tea to Eliott´s room, putting it down on his nightstand. "How are you feeling?"

Eliott opened his eyes a little for a few seconds before closing them again, bringing the covers more up, covering also half of his face this time. "Tired," he said, voice muffled with the fabric but still, Lucas heard it, he sounded so _distant_. All the warmth was just... _gone_. And it felt empty.

"I made you a tea, if you want some," Lucas said and caressed Eliott´s forehead, trying if he had a fever (he didn´t). 

Eliott mumbled "I wanna sleep," and covered his whole head, too. 

Lucas was standing there for a moment, watching the space where Eliott´s face was a moment ago and he felt helpless. And he started thinking that this actually really might be an episode.   
He didn´t know much about bipolarity, but he knew from the time before they started dating, like, three weeks ago and all that past year, that Eliott was staying in his room for days and then he walked out, when he was feeling alright or just a little better to eat or go to shower. And it worked for them. Lucas didn´t bothering him and Eliott got okay again after few days, every time, and they were used to it. 

Not that there was something Lucas could do for him, anyways, right? 

But now? Lucas wasn´t sure if he wanted to be okay with that. He wanted to be with Eliott. He wanted to do something good for Eliott, to help him. Help him feel better.   
He wanted to be a good boyfriend. He wanted for Eliott to be okay again. He wanted for Eliott to feel _safe_ with him.

Fuck, this was so hard...

  
Lucas left Eliott´s room, because Eliott obviously didn´t want to talk nor cuddle nor the fucking tea, anyways, Lucas left the room and went to his own. 

Sleeping without Eliott after three weeks of every night cuddles, was wierd. Wierd, cold, and empty. 

It happened that Lucas fell asleep after midnight, because his mind was just too tired of all day worry. 

The next day, Eliott was sleeping. All day. Lucas made him new tea in the morning, put it on the bedside table together with sandwitch just to find that exactly there when he came back from school. It was so frustrating. He knew that this is just what it is and he had to accept it, because of Eliott, because he loved him and because he wanted to be wih him, but still, he felt desperate to do something useful, just didn´t know what it should be. 

He went to sleep more tired than the night before, and still, he couldn´t fall asleep until late night (or early morning?) hours. 

...

  
It happened that the next morning Lucas woke up late. He was late for school and he couldn´t be, because he had important exam to write. He put on some clothes and ran from his bedroom. He hasitated for a moment when he was standing in the open front door, looking at Eliott´s bedroom door, but he had no damn time and dammit his fucking insomnia.

Then his phone buzzed with another alarm notification and he left the flat in hurry. 

  
That day was the longest in his life, because all he could think about was Eliott, alone in his bedroom. He should be there with him, not in fucking school. And today was his longest day, because he had evening classes.   
Fuck that. 

He was nervous. Nervous all day long. When he finally went home, he picked up some flowers for Eliott and take-out meal for dinner. He was thinking about the upcoming night and about that he just gonna go to Eliott´s bedroom and sleep in the fucking armchair, if he´d have to, just to be with Eliott, in his proximity, see him, see his beautiful face and _be with him._

Lucas came home, put the flowers into the vase, meal to plates, lighted up some candles and went straight to bathroom to take a shower to be ready cuddle with his cute boyfriend.   
The warm water was balm to his nerves and tense muscles. But you know what is even better for that?   
_Eliott_. 

So now Lucas is here, opening the door to Eliott´s room, go to his bed just to find it was empty.

_What?_

Lucas walks around whole flat, looking everywhere (and yes he knows he´s ruddiculous when he was looking behind the washing machine or in the cupboard but fuck he doesn´t give a shit because he´s afraid), but Eliott is nowhere to be found. 

Lucas goes back to Eliott´s room, throwing all those blankets away from Eliott´s bed, looking under the bed, in the wardrobe, in his own wardrobe, but nothing. _Nothing_. 

Lucas goes back to his room and dials Eliott´s number, ignoring Dante who was watching him curiously from his desk chair. 

Eliott´s phone starts ringing and Lucas finds it in the drawer in Eliott´s desk. 

"Fuck," he says and Dante meows, like she wants to remind him good behaviour.   
Fuck that too. 

"Where´s Eliott?" he asks her, like she would answer. "You´re useless, you know that?" he says and she blinks at him, unimpressed. "You´re gonna learn how to speak. Starting tomorrow." 

Lucas pacing around the flat, biting his nails, thinking. Thinking and thinking. He wants to go out and looking for Eliott, but he´s also afraid to go out when he doesn´t know where to looking for him. And it´s dark and it´s already around 10pm. 

Oh god, Eliott is outside in the night all alone.   
He needs to find him, soon. Very soon. 

And another questions running through Lucas´ mind. How long is he already gone? Lucas didn´t check up on him this morning and he was gone all day, so Eliott could be gone even since the night before and fucking hell, Eliott is gone and Lucas is scared.

Where he could be? Where he could go? His favourie café? Probably not, in the middle of the night. His parents? Without his phone? No, they live too far from this place, across whole city.   
Fuck that, Lucas´ mind is in panic mode and he can´t think clearly.   
What if something happened to him? What if something happened, what if he´s hurt? Fuck, what if he´s actually really _hurt_? Lucas is useless boyfriend, he has to find him, he has to-

Oh. 

_Oh god._

What did Eliott say more than three weeks ago? As they were lying in his bed, tracing each other´s skin with gentle touches, Eliott said: "There´s this abandoned bridge in the woods. I´ll take you there once the weather will be nice, we can make picnic there," Eliott smiled as Lucas smiled. "It´s my secret place. It´s my refuge. I love it there, I´m coming back there when I want to be alone." Lucas smiled, touched Eliott´s nose and said: "You want to have a picnic with me on the place where you want to be alone?" Eliott blushed, hide his face in Lucas´ neck and said: "This is special. You´re special."

The _bridge_. 

The bridge in the woods. 

But where is it? Lucas doesn´t know, because he never been there, the weather is still shitty and cold so they never went there together. Lucas pulls out his phone and on the maps he looks after the green areas in the city. 

He finds some. And one big enough to be called as "woods". 

Lucas slips into his shoes and coat and scarf, ready to go, just like that, his pajama pants and hoodie underneath. But then he looks around the flat and takes the fluffy blanket from their couch.   
Just to be on the safe side. _What if._

He runs.   
It´s late, probably around 10pm, Lucas is not sure and he doesn´t care for a bit. 

People, who are still outside (which is not much but a few) watching him like he would be crazy and he still doesn´t care.   
He needs to find him.   
Lucas doesn´t think about the possibility to _not_ finding him, because it´s not an option for him. He can´t lose him. He can´t lose Eliott. 

  
The wood section is surprisingly closer to their flat than is looks on the map from the bird perspective. Lucas just hopes he´s at the right place. When he´s opening the gate, the sound of it giving his skin goosebump. It´s fucking night and it´s dark and it´s cold and windy because March just started and the trees are scary and they´re swinging in the wind like dark shadows.   
Lucas is scared. He´s afraid of the dark since he was little. But he´s more afraid about Eliott than about himself, so he keeps going. He switches on the torch on his phone to not trip over something when he doesn´t know this place like Eliott probably does, and he goes. It´s easy, because there´s actually real trail between trees. 

Lucas can hear his own pulse, his heart beating loudly in his chest. He startles when he hears some shuffling in the dark, breaking the twigs, wind in the leaves. 

"Eliott?" he calls out and he hates the fear is obvious in his voice. "Eliott!" he tries again, a little steadier. "Eliott, are you here?" he says and then he sees it. The trees step behind the old-looking fogrotten bridge.   
It´s here, it´s _here_! That means Lucas is in the right place. 

"Eliott?" he says again, holding back his tears because he didn´t find him yet, did he? 

Lucas goes into the darkness under the bridge without thinking. He just goes there, lighting every corner with the weak light on his phone, when he hears some sniffling, and when he turns around, there´s Eliott. 

_There´s Eliott! Eliott is here! I found him!_

Lucas jumps to him and wraps his shaking frame in his arms. "Eliott," he says and he´s so relieved, so so so relieved. "Baby, I´m here, I´m here," he repeats, when he realizes Eliott´s crying. He´s just in his pajamas. In fucking pajamas. It´s cold and Eliott´s freezing so much his body vibrates. 

Lucas pulls away and wraps the blanket around his boyfriend, happy that he was so wise and grabbed it with him. 

"Baby, you okay? Are you hurt?" he asks and searching over Eliott´s whole body if he finds any injury. Eliott sobbing and Lucas presses his forehead to him before he hugs him again. 

He´s not gonna let him go, ever again. 

"It´s okay, I´m here," Lucas whispers to Eliott´s ear, caressing his arms up and down to warm him up a little. "I´m so happy I found you."

  
...

  
Lucas doesn´t remember much from they way back to their flat. And he´s almost sure Eliott doesn´t remember anything. Lucas just knows about holding Eliott´s shaking frame, trying to shield him with his own body, holding him and leading him back home, wrapped in the blanket. 

Once they were home, Lucas changed his and Eliott´s dirty wet clothes to clean and dry ones, put him in the bed and made from him and blankets human burrito. He also brought his own blankets and duvet and added them to the mountain. Eliott was freezing. 

Lucas then crawled to Eliott and held him for dear life. 

  
The next day, they slept. Eliott, because he was apparantely exhausted in every way possible, Lucas, because he was drained mostly emotionally. They were sleeping whole day. Lucas didn´t go to school and he didn´t give a single shit about it. He turned his phone off and was just with Eliott. 

It´s night again, when Lucas wakes up because Eliott´s shuffling next to him. 

"Eliott?" Lucas murmurs, still half-asleep. "You okay?" 

"Sorry for waking you," says Eliott and it´s probably the first thing he said to Lucas in days and Lucas is so relieved to hear his voice. 

"No, no, it´s okay baby," Lucas says and turns to his side so they are now lying on their sides, facing each other. Lucas doesn´t know what to say. He doesn´t want to overhelm Eliott or to rush things up. Lucas can see Eliott´s face, the moon shines from the window from behind Lucas so Eliott´s face is lighten with soft silver light, and he looks beautiful. And also he´s apparantely struggling with words in his head. 

Then Lucas´ eyes catches something behind Eliott.   
Digital alarm watch on Eliott´s bedside table. 

"Hey," Lucas whispers and cups Eliott´s face with his one hand, feels the shaky breath from Eliott. "Happy one month anniversary, baby," Lucas smiles at Eliott and caresses the skin on his cheek with his thumb. 

"What?" Eliott asks. "It´s been a month?" 

"Yes, exactly four weeks before this night, friday and saturday, remember?"

"Of course I remember," Eliott whispers. "I remember every single minute."

For a moment, both of them got lost in those memories of the night, the night Lucas was brave and Eliott couldn´t sleep. It´s dark in the room and Lucas more hears and feels than sees how Eliott takes a deep shaky breath. 

"Lucas," he says and when Lucas focuses on his face again, he sees his eyes are shiny and it´s not from his usual light in there, but from the holded tears. "I´m so sorry for the past days," Eliott says quietly. "I´m sorry I scared you and-"

"Don´t you even think about it, Eliott, it´s okay, I promise," he says and caresses Eliott´s cheek softly. "I´m just so happy that you´re alright."

"But it´s not okay, Lucas, I-I just..." he exhales, frustrated. "I don´t remember much, I just know that I couldn´t breathe here and the blankets on me felt like tons of metal, I had to go, and so I ran, I´m sorry."

Lucas waits a minute or two, but Eliott doesn´t add anything, so he speaks again. 

"Eliott," he says, fingertips touching Eliott´s face like it could break any moment. "Baby, don´t be sad about it, don´t feel guilty or bad about it, it´s just... I´m so happy I found you, you know? And yes, I was scared... to be honest I was terrified, but it was because I care about you and I was afraid something could happen to you and I felt helpless, but only because I didn´t want to lose you, because-because-" Lucas takes a deep breath. _Now. Just tell him_. "Because I love you."

For Lucas, it feels like time just completely stops. It´s the first time he said this to someone and yet, nothing ever felt so right to say. This is Eliott, this is his roommate for two years, his untouchable roommie, who is not as much untouchable as Lucas thought, because here they are and Lucas can touch him, Lucas can feel his warmth, his soft skin, his hair, his lips...

And then, time starts to run again, because here is Eliott, and he says

"I love you too," and leans forward to press his lips to Lucas´.

Yes, Lucas is completely in love. And when he´s touching Eliott´s hair again, pulling for the strands which are a little greasy but who the hell cares, pulling Eliott´s body closer to his and Eliott´s holding Lucas´ face and kissing him, Lucas could bath in the love he has for this boy. 

"Lucas," Eliott says between kisses.

"Yes, baby," Lucas mumbles back. Eliott pulls away a little to look him in the eyes.

"It´ll happen again, you know," he says sadly. "Week like this one, it´s gonna happen again, and I don´t know when or for how long-... but it´s gonna happen again."

Lucas presses his forehead to Eliott´s. "We won´t be scared about it, okay? We´re gonna deal with it once it´ll come. Now, we try to focus only on the next minute, okay?" 

Eliott exhales and put his hand on the side of Lucas´ neck. "Okay," he whispers. 

And in the next minute, they kiss. And maybe in the couple of the next ones, too. And then, they sleep a little more, because it still was in the middle of the friday/saturday night.

  
On the saturday morning, they lazily wake up in each other´s arms, they take a shower which lasts about an hour, then they go to kitchen and bake themselves some chocolate cake for their one month anniversary, and while eating it they teach Dante how to speak (kinda uselessly, because she just keep sleeping in the corner of the couch, not giving a shit).

Lucas was happy, because he finally had someone - no, not _someone_ , _Eliott_ \- he can hold and care about and love and who loves him back. 

Eliott was happy, because for the first time in his life, someone - no, not _someone_ , _Lucas_ \- found him. Lucas, Lucas found him. 

And that was really something. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is some pretty mess and shit, but, hm... I like messy shits, so.
> 
> tumblr: briallenko  
> ig: briallen.art (elu fanarts mostly)

**Author's Note:**

> I promise, the next work I´ll post will be chapter 4 of SMSM.
> 
> Alsooooo if you have some prompts for elu fics be written by me, let me know. ♥
> 
> tumblr: briallenko


End file.
